My Job…

My choice to become a stay at home mum was an easy one.  In fact, I don’t actually remember there ever being a question about it.  I really don’t remember James and I sitting down and having a long, drawn out conversation about whether or not I would stay at home, or would return to work.  It was just one of those things that happened.  We were living in Dublin when we had Ollie, due to move back to Belfast when he was just 3 months.  I had to leave my job anyway… I just never went back!

Here we are 5 1/2 years later and I have no intention of returning to work in the 9-5 world.  I can’t think of anything I would dislike more!  I’ve never enjoyed working (does anyone reeeeally?) and I’m very lucky to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mum to my boys.  I know a lot of people don’t have a choice.  It makes sense financially for me to stay at home because I’m not qualified in anything.  My salary would never be worth working 9-5 and having the kids minded by someone else.  We have no family available to mind them day to day… so would have to pay a lot for childcare.  I wouldn’t have enough money left after paying for childcare, to make it worth not seeing them as much as I do now.  It would literally be pennies.

It’s also quite important to me that I give Nate the same one on one attention that Ollie was able to have before he started school.  Ollie had me all to himself for 3 1/2 years… and Nate gets me all to himself everyday when Ollie is at school.

I love being a stay at home mum… I love seeing the boys and filling my day with playing, crafts and all things boyish… sometimes we just sit and watch tv.  The other good thing is that I want to be an established photographer when Nate starts school and being a stay at home mum gives me time to learn and work on getting that set up!  I need a job that can give me flexibility and I can work whatever hours I want to… especially over the summer holidays when both boys will eventually be off school!  Being a self employed photographer will give me that.

This stay at home mum gig is definitely the best job I’ve ever had!

(This post is a throwback to a year ago when I first posted it.  I think the same now, so thought it deserved to be shared again.)

10 thoughts on “My Job…

  1. Dawn says:

    Oooh you are so lucky! I work a 9-5 job and would LOVE some extra time at home with the kiddos, but financially I NEED to work. I’m working towards a part time gig, tho, which will be nice.

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  2. Venassa says:

    I would LOVE to be able to afford being a stay at home mom, but I know that would never be the case. Although I think if I had the choice, I would still work part-time anyway. When I had my year off for maternity leave, I started to feel a little crazy at times, and picking up a work shift here and there helped a lot. Still, I’m jealous of those that get to stay home. I dont feel like there’s ever enough time with Chloe.

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  3. Mieka Smiles says:

    For me it’s that boring but true old adage about balance. I’m very lucky in that I’m only away from my toddler two and a half days in a week. I’m different from you though in that my job is very much part of who I am and I can’t imagine not having it ‘there’ in some capacity. And hopefully when the kiddywinks are all off to school I can pick it up full steam again. We’re also lucky that grandparents can fill in the child care gaps.

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  4. Samantha says:

    My Mom told me once that ‘kids cost as much – or as little – as you want them to’. She had zero income (and neither did her boyfriend) when my brother was born and they lived in an old house with no electricity or running water and she caught animals that lived on their wild land to eat… not the life I would have chosen, but it gave me some perspective on how much money I would ‘need’ to have children.A few years before my first daughter was born, I was given the opportunity to move into management at the company I was working in, but I knew that ‘getting to the top’ was something I would then try to do – and I also knew that someday I wanted to have kids, and there was no way I could put ‘my all’ into my children someday if I was fighting to be an executive somewhere. So, I declined the opportunity to move forward in my career – despite everyone thinking I was mad – because someday I wanted to be able to easily step back and raise my children. And I knew I couldn’t do both in a way that would satisfy me. When my daughter was born it was a bit of a struggle for a year or two when we lost my income and had to get used to a different way of life, but I have no regrets. I may not be the greatest Mom, but I’m here for my kids every day and I think that means a lot. The saddest thing is how our culture sometimes makes women feel as though they should be ‘out there’ working, and to stay at home is to ‘just’ stay at home. It was 100% my choice to be home with my kids, and it’s by far the hardest job I’ve ever done!

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  5. Natalie Vereen-Davis says:

    My husband and I were the same–we always knew that one of us would be staying at home with the kids. We had an agreement that whoever was making the most money at the time the baby was born would be the SAHM or SAHD, and that decision completely worked out. We also learned to live on one salary long before we actually had our daughter, which made the loss of one income a lot easier. Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I do love being able to watch my daughter grow!

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  6. Earthmother says:

    Ah, nice post. I hear you. I was never up for discussion that I would stay home with the children. It was just something I felt I had to do. No, we are not loaded. No, we can’t afford it. (Every month is a financial challenge.) We’ll probably be paying off these years for a long time. But you can’t buy them back, can you?

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  7. Mary Widdicks says:

    I feel the same way! That’s one of the reasons I want to write. I love being home with my boys, but it’s nice to feel like I have something for myself too.

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