I wrote out my few New Year goals some days ago… and though all of them are important to me, one of the MOST important is my goal to say yes more. I’ve been working on this for a few years, because I think it is an area I can always improve on.
Kids are demanding and I don’t know the statistics, but it feels like I get asked a gazillion and one questions in a day. I am guilty of switching off and not paying my whole attention to some of those questions, maybe I am in the middle of chores or something else. Sometimes Ollie will want to show me something and I’ll respond with a “in a few minutes honey” or “when I’m finished these dishes”. On a busy day, I find myself saying “no” or “not right now” a little too often. I don’t like it. I go to bed on those days and I think about it and though my saying “not right now” or “in a few minutes” does not make the boys unhappy… I do know it makes them feel just a little disheartened.
I want to say yes more. I love Ollie’s and Nate’s little faces when I come to them straight away, whether it is to play for just ten minutes, or to show me something they have built in Minecraft or with Lego. I need to remind myself that dishes can wait, Ollie and Nate shouldn’t. I can give them that time and do the dishes when they are occupied with something else, or even when they go to bed.
My mum once said that when you die, it doesn’t say “here lies (name here), who did not do her chores” on your gravestone. It is more likely to say “here lies (name here), who was a loving wife and mother”… and that is true. My mum is very wise ha!
I want my boys to grow up to know that I am always there for them, always have been and always will be. When I say “yes”, what I am really saying to them is “yes, I am here for you, I want to hear what you want to say and you mean the world to me!”.
This doesn’t mean that I won’t say no. I will still say “no” to the things that require it. My goal is to say yes to connecting with my boys, to playing with them more, to prioritising them above chores and other unimportant things, saying yes to sillyness and fun.