There was no ‘marriage teacher’ at school to teach me how to be a good wife and how to be married! James and I married young… I was only 22 when we got married and again, my pre-marriage notions are hilarious. Of course, it’s wonderful and lovely… I love being married, but being a grown up is so much harder and complicated than it seemed when I was 17! We had to learn to fight properly (something we STILL haven’t got the hang of haha!) and learn to always think of the other person… we had to learn how to budget, do chores together…
We weren’t taught about birth at school… I had to learn how to ‘birth’ a baby pretty much by myself haha and boy was it a shock! I mean, of course we were told how it happens… but those diagrams etc… they are nothing like the real thing. As soon as I went into labour, both times, it was nothing like I had imagined.
I’ve learned that little boys are the most oddly fascinating little creatures! They are affectionate, funny and quite absurd! Raising two boys (thus far) has certainly been the most interesting and amazing part of my life to date. They are hilarious. I always imagined having little girls, as I was growing up and it wasn’t until I had Ollie that I realised how wonderful life with boys is.
I also had to learn how to be a parent… nobody taught me that. I guess I picked things up as I was growing up, babysitting…. having 2 younger brothers and I guess I’ve so far parented by example (my mum is awesome!)… but I think about my pre-baby notions… my wonderings about what life would be like and I laugh at how naive I was!
In the years that I have been married, I have learnt to deal with loss and how to overcome the heartbreak and disappointment that comes with miscarrying… I had to learn how to be strong, patient and KEEP GOING in order to create the family we now have. Some things take time and a heart can be broken… but it can be fixed and though the pain is always there somewhat, it dulls.
I’ve learnt that my happiness is my choice. I’m the only one responsible for me being happy! It wasn’t until recently that this really clicked for me. I refuse to let anyone drain me of a good mood! If I’m not happy with something, then it’s up to me to change it! Marcus Aurelius said that the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts and I really believe that. If you THINK happy, good thoughts… you’ll feel good and be happy too!